It always rains in Romania when I am here.   Invariably it rains when I am scheduled to have any off time from the House of Angels.  I am in Tirgoviste for some relaxation time and it is raining.   No photos.   No videos.   Just rain, cleansing rain.

I’m embarrassed of how much and what I’ve eaten today, so I will not divulge any of that information….well not yet.  Yes I was forced to do it, I would never have been able to say no anyway.

Today before leaving for Tirgoviste, I spent about 3 hours with the little babies and another hour playing with the older orphans.   That is a joy and a heartbreak all at the same time.   In the special needs care of small Romanian children, it becomes completely evident even without the language in place, or without me speaking the language,  how these children’s outcome will be most likely, and what specific issues they seem to have that will surely follow them throughout the course of their lives.   It is hard to put into words each day sometimes because I’m highly emotional and at times, completely overwhelmed.

Today was one of those days.

We are short of nurses.  The biggest problem is that some of the very severe needs children take a lot of time to care for.   There is one baby there that has only a half of a brain.  This little dear one took more than 45 minutes alone to feed.   The brain is not able to recognize signals properly so she just quits sucking the bottle, and her feeding ability is so low.   Her little body is rigid and in place and her head is incredibly tiny.  I do not think that the fate for this child is positive in the least, but she should live in complete love and dignity and she gets this at the House of Angels.  She does respond to physical stimulation, but only in a nerve and expected response, nothing more.  She is living her life in a crippled body, unable to know about life around her, being sustained and cared for by loving hands.

There is Alexandra, she has multiple sensory problems and is very delayed.  Her sibling has spina bifida and she has yet another sibling there little Maria, who seems the least delayed and middle child of the three.   All completely darling.   I’ll fill in names later as I remember them, for now the busy work was just holding and feeding and changing and loving them.

The smallest baby I believe is 3 months.  She has nothing apparently wrong except a cleft palate which will be operated on when she is is 2 years old.  Darling baby….precious in every way and the easiest baby to hold while chasing after the others as they are naughty to each other.  I’d love to pack her up and take her home but sadly, Romania is closed for adoptions still.   There is always talk, but it is just that, talk.

Aggression is a big problem with the children with disabilities as they get older.  Some of them are prone to it because of their disabilities.  Some of them are taught it before their arrival in some situations I would consider abusive.  Some have such severe situations previously that are really un-doable.   Some are terrified.  I think there is a child that is dangerous to the other children and I’ve asked Simona to see if she can find another placement for him.   Unfortunately this is the reality.